#20 - Little Red Riding Hood


December 27, 2007

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20 - Little Red Riding Hood

20 - Little Red Riding Hood

"#20 - Little Red Riding Hood" is the 21st episode of Skippy's Short Stories.


Skippy tells the story about a girl who is "one hideous creature", so her face is covered up with a big red cape and is called Red Riding Hood.

One day, Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother is a little sick because she has a leprosy of the earlobes. Little Red's mother calls her a hideous little creature and tells her that she cannot stand looking at her and wants to puke every time she remembers because she is her daughter. She tells her to take a dark path behind the house to her grandmother's house, wear her bright red cape in the closet, make sure she is real loud and talk to all the strangers that she meets, and to cover herself in steak sauce and roll around in the dirt if there are wolves or anything dangerous lurking nearby. Little Red tells her mother she loves her, too and goes out the back door and starts to head down the scary path to visit her grandmother.

She comes up to a big wolf who is selling oranges. When he asks her if she would like a bite of an orange, Little Red Riding Hood declines because she doesn't like oranges. The wolf accepts this and tells Little Red not to go to her grandmother's house in about 20 minutes since he is going to go beat her up and take the money. After a short, awkward pause, Red Riding Hood says okay. So she decided to see how many times she can spit in the wishing well before "the old man" comes and starts kicking her in the butt, which Skippy says is fun.

The wolf takes off and goes in, grabs Red Riding Hood's grandmother, and shoves her down in the throat. But then Skippy stops and decides to do something different since everybody says that. So he changes it and says the wolf shows up at the grandmother's house and tells her he is there to fix her stuff. She says nothing is broken, but the wolf says there is and to look down at her toilet. However, when she does, the wolf quickly shoves her in and flushes the toilet 3 times, sending the grandmother down the drain (which Skippy says that she has now become an "alligator buddy").

Pretty soon, Little Red comes knocking up at the door and calls for her grandmother, asking if she is in there. Nervous and scared, the wolf starts freaking out and he asks himself out loud what he is going to do. So he does "what any wolf would do without a situation": He puts on a fake wig, some of the grandmother's reading glasses, her muumuu, some of her stockings, and a brazier or two. Then he looks in the mirror and says he likes that. Then Little Red comes strolling in and she immediately recognizes the wolf and she calls him a sick animal, tells him to get out of her grandmother's bed, asks why he is there, and he says he is disgusting and that he makes her sick. The wolf says he doesn't know how to explain this and says her grandmother is down the toilet. Shocked, Little Red tells him to just get out and calls him a perv. The wolf insists her grandmother is down the toilet and tells her to check it out. She does so and, now fed up with the wolf, she runs outside and she calls the police. The police and a S.W.A.T. team come in and pull out their machine guns. Red Riding Hood frantically orders them to shoot the wolf, to which they do. Skippy says there was a lot of death and destruction and the wolf's hands fall down. Skippy says the only thing left of the wolf were his hands, which he picks up and then drops with his mouth. He then shouts, "STUPID!".